sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
