You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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