We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize