Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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