We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
