So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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