The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Couch. On fire.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
