I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it's like heaven, but drunker
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
