He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
