I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
