Pants 0. Shit 1.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
