You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
