Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Someone signed my nipple.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize