Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
