how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
