Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize