I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
