How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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