I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
