while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
