btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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