There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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