you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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