So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Found your dick twin last night
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
