hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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