he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My feet surprised me
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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