why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
