so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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