Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
