You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
