dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize