my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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