It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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