I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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