You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
