THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
