Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
