hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
