I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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