ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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