Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
