apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
