walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
