nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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