I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
