pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Terrible idea I love it
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
