I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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