5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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