I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
