so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
