I just pynch a tree in the face
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she smelled like a LAN party
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
