Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize