Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
