i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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