You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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