The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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