Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
