lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize