i just wanna soil my oats bro
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
