my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize